It has been two whole years since I joined Yoga, or to put it
fairly, since I found this precious way of living. My life was too messy and I
didn't have enough clarity of mind to deal with my problems, which were I
assure the reader were a lot.
It was the cold November of 2017, when I first started feeling
lost in my life, without a solution for the issues I was facing. I just didn't
know what's the right thing to do in such a situation anymore.
It was a crucial time. I was doing my masters in statistics and it
was now that I had to decide a lot of critical things, like the field that I
wished to choose, the field in which field I wanted put in all my energy and
hard work. This was already a confusing phase and suddenly came, my personal
life, crashing down like a fighter jet which was shot high in the sky. My
father had been in an accident.
This meant an increased load of responsibility on me, towards my
parents. I had to handle the family business and had to play a larger role in
the day-to-day affairs of the family. I was in a deep shock, I didn't
have the kind of mental resources to handle this additional bulk of
responsibilities. I had to get up early in the morning to attend college, then
look after the business, our family's primary source of income, study, and
while also tackling the typical problems of a teen's personal life. To handle
all this pressure, I turned to food, I started loading myself up with junk
food. Oily and spicy foods were now my best friends in life, It became a
routine for me to have my dinner outside. I started gaining weight and
naturally getting mocked for my rather large body.
It was only when I had gotten a little over a whooping eighty-five
kilograms that I started getting worried about my health. That was my bottom,
my waist size had reached a 37.5 inches. I was fat.
I didn't have control over my thoughts, my words and I became too
aggressive. This version of me was too disturbing for me, and I couldn't
concentrate on anything anymore, my classes, the business, I was rude to my
friends and I tried to cut myself off. I wanted to find a better me.
It was around that time when a well-wishing friend told me about a
certificate course at the University of Lucknow, a course on Yoga. I
don't know what actually struck me, whether it was the wise words of the friend
or my own desperation to save myself, I decided to give it a go. I was quite
cheered up by the thought of learning the asana pranayama and about the basics
of yogic practices. I started viewing the course as "MY HOPE TO SAVE
MYSELF ". I went up to the department and filled up the form. I was
informed that my classes will start in December, and so, without patience I
waited for the 1st of December.
I was too excited to attend the class, I remember very well that
on the 30th November I went out bought myself, the tracksuit, the most
expensive piece of cloth I had ever purchased. The night before the first class
I didn't sleep at all, although I was not sleeping well from the last 6 months
but that night was different I was so excited for my first "Yoga
class". It was a rather cold morning, I wore my tracksuit, hung my mat
cover on my shoulder and biked to the university. Filled with positive energy
and excitement, I reached the department and to my surprise I found that the
doors were closed. I asked the security guard about the same and he kindly told
me that, there was a seminar in the department that day, and therefore the
classes were suspended, his voice sounded like a broken glass but actually it
was my heart which had cracked. I know you're thinking that it's not a big
deal, a day's matter, but try to imagine it from the perspective of a broken
teenager who believed to have found the solution of all his problems, had waited
patiently for that magical day to arrive, for what? Only to find out that it
has been postponed, yes it was a big deal for me, yes it did break my heart
dear reader.
Anyway, with a certain optimism, I returned the next day with more
energy, and I had to wait, I waited outside patiently for 2 hours, in my mind,
all sorts of things were going on, is this a signal from the God? Should I
divorce the thought of taking up this class? Filled with all sorts of anxiety,
I called up the Guruji and he told me that the class was delayed again, and
this time, I wasn't told when would it start, he only told me that I'd get a
message when it would.
Like a kid who doesn't get a chocolate promised to him, I was
upset.
After 2 days, I finally got the message.
I missed the first class, I went to the class on the second day.
When I entered, the class the first view was too shocking, because 19 out of 20
students were so fit and strong from their physical appearance. I had thought
to run away from the class because all the girls had a perfect figure, even a
fifty-five-years old gentleman had a perfect physique. And then there was I,
weight more than a ninety kilograms, and waist 38 inches. I started practicing
and everything was too difficult for me because I hadn't done any kind of
physical work for the past 4 years. However, my flexibility was good. I worked
hard to be perfect in my asanas and I used to practice 4-5 hours a day. And
those 70-80 days changed my life drastically. After finishing the course I was
filled with mirth, I was now a physically fit person.
I joined a coaching institute to prepare for a government job
exam. But after some time I realized that I was getting back to my old
practices, I was getting too lazy, my mind was working slow and in general, I
lacked the energy to do anything. After a repeated episode of suffering, I got
the idea to include yoga as a part of my life. I was sure that only this will
help me get out of this phase.
I decided to join a Masters program in Yoga.
You can imagine a typical Indian family, everyone was against my
decision. I was asked a lot of questions to discourage me from taking up this
course, my parents were worried that it will not help me earn, my father wanted
me to stick with his business. But I had the feeling that yoga is the best
career choice for me and I took the admission in the course. Now in Masters, I
got the information about the history of yoga, the philosophy and the
application of yoga as therapy. All the Gurujis gave me lots of lessons
directly and indirectly. Two of the Gurujis are my favorite, the first one
teaches us the 'Philosophy of Yoga' while the other one teaches us the
'Practical aspects of Yoga'. After the exam of the first semester when results
were out I was shocked because I was the topper and my senior told me that from
many years there have been no male topper in this course. I was passionate
about the subject. Luckily, I got so many chances to show my talent in various
stages. I performed at one of the biggest events in our city on the occasion of
world yoga day.
Now I have started taking a yoga class and I am working on the
therapeutic aspect of Yoga. Today I have left behind that terrible phase and
Yoga helped me do that.
~ buntline123@gmail.com
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